Q: Where do pitchers go to dance? All I did was take a day off. Learning Softball At one point during a game, the coach said to one of her young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? The bartender says, "How did you do that?" Clean Jokes Two monkeys are high up in the tree. For wives, who want to get back at their husband we have assembled a beautiful and hilarious collection of husband wife funny jokes. Ill take my chances with the fire.. It's the only sport played on a diamond. A: A dino-score. A: They needed a little team spirit. 2023 best-puns.com . Not just a sport for kids, softball is popular among people of all ages. 59. Things got a little tense. Steal these classic one-liner jokes in our collection of the best one-liner jokes from experts in funny like Milton Berle and Conan O . What would you get if you crossed a pitcher and the Invisible Man? Bad News: They beat your men's softball team. How can this be? The future, the present, and the past walk into a bar. The Exact Match Keywords: how does geothermal energy work,, Read More how does the puna geothermal venture workContinue. Knock knock Whos there? UriahUriah who? Keep Uriah on the ball. 10. Enjoy. While youre waiting for that much-needed 7th inning stretch to finally see some entertainment on the field, kill some time and have some laughs with these 100 baseball jokes, puns, one-liners and riddles. Q: What do softball players use to bake a cake? My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. What is the difference between a softball player and a baby? Please enter your email to complete registration. COPY JOKE. A: It was a boxer. Q: Which animal is best at hitting a softball? Related: 182 Hilarious Jokes For Kids That Adults Find Funny Too. What is a baseball players favorite thing about going to the park? Her first single was a hit. 2. 32. A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked out to have a talk with him. 62. Read more. 2. Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular. Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it. These softball jokes are great for players, coaches, parents, teachers and anyone who wants to laugh about something related to softaball. 1. Because it takes too long to put their cleats on. Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions. 75. Three stripes and youre out. A: Oops You just missed it. 7. 22. All they said was, "Bach, Bach, Bach". These clean softball jokes are good for all ages. 57. Softball Jokes Check out this great collection of jokes about softball, including softball riddles and knock-knock jokes. Make use of these wife and husband jokes and have fun. 74. 82. Geology rocks, but geographys where its at. How do baseball players keep in touch? One day the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game. The Cubs just won the World Series.. Im just not on the right planet. A softball team! Q: How often do softball players call each other? Why did Cinderella get kicked off the softball team? 67. Never shies away from a deep conversation, never runs out of jokes. Why did the cops go to the baseball game? He heard that someone stole second base. What do you get when you cross a baseball player with a monster? That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes. Golfers always carry two pairs of pants, in case they get a hole in one. A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. The home team ends up winning, but not a single man from either team has touched a base. Leave a trail of candy to the nice old lady with the house in the woods. 83.94 % / 1221 votes. Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? "Money talks. by Team Scary Mommy. Whats the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggots father? From second to third base, because there is a shortstop in the middle. Knock Knock. Q: How do softball players stay cool? "Oh nohow does he smell?" Why are skanks good at softball? / Dill with It Tea Towels Author: www.amazon.com Date Published: 03/10/2021 Ratings: 4.65 Highest Ratings: 5 Lowest Ratings: 1 Excerpt: Artist Frida Clements playfully combines colorfully detailed flora and fauna drawings with funny hand-lettered wordplay. She didn't show up. A: A softball team. A book never written: The Quickest Softball Game by Earl E. Wynn. Theyre too busy arguing the last call. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature. Read also: 125 Relationship Quotes to Help Couples Relationships More Peaceful. The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now. 2nd to 3rd because there is a short stop in the middle. I always take life with a grain of salt. Why do girls like softball? Its that no one runs in your family. John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes. A: She had a pumpkin for a coach. A: Because diamonds are a girls best friend. It was nameed softball in 1926. In the bleachers. I can catch you. One smart resident decided to get more information, first. Why did the softball player get a music deal? She wasnt getting any hits! Q: Where do a softball players go when they need a new uniform? Two baseball teams play a game. A: For persistent fowl play. A man leaves home, makes three left turns and is on his way back home when he notices two men in masks waiting for him. Have you ever seen a line drive? They started the season with three wins and a draw, all 4-1 and one 4-all. A: Its the only sport played on a diamond. I had to put my foot down. Where did the softball player wash her socks? In the bleachers. Where did the baseball player wash his socks? A baseball scout found a remarkable prospect: a horse who was a pretty good fielder and who hit the ball every time he was up at bat. The fence. Because the manager knew, once he sent the mummy in the game would be all wrapped up. #1. These clean softball jokes are good for all ages. And, to use as few words as possible and still be cheek-splittingly hilarious is both a talent and a calling, combined with years of writing practice (or just pure luck). Q: Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd base, or from 2nd base to 3rd base? Theyre keeping it a secret because theyre afraid the Tigers might find out and try to play there. Q: What is a softball players favorite thing about going to the park? Who are they? 75. With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy's truck leaves him too. endobj Softball was actually invented as an indoor sport in Chicago in 1887. A book never written: How to Be a Better softball Player by Ben Schwarmer. Where does the baseball player go when he needs a new uniform? The Best Slogans and Sayings for Softball You can't steal second with one foot on first. Q: Which softball player wears the biggest cleats? Do you know a funny one liner? What did the baseball glove say to the ball? Anyone can write on Bored Panda. A tire. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA pleez am i the only one laughing here? So enjoy this collection of 80 funny one liners! 43. Q. Ehhhh, shrugs the resident. If baseball is life, softball is heaven. Why couldnt the fans get soda pop at the double header? That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes. Why did the police officer go to the baseball game? 25. What is the difference between Yankee fans and dentists? (Closed), I Create Functional And Decorative Art On Functional Items That People Can Use Every Day, And Here Are My Newest 23 Works, Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? Ask her anything! T-shirts, posters, stickers, Bulldog Weight Lifting Dog Gym Essential T-Shirt. Did you hear the joke about the baseball? 51. A: So she could tie the score. They never miss a fly. Tax jokes 1. Be that as it may, if you want to read a joke, it is not a novel you are looking for but rather a quick comedic relief. 89. - The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?". A: She always ran away from the ball. Its over your head. Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current. Because they know how to catch flies! By: Alannah ( 1) ( 2) Two young boys walked into a pharmacy, picked out a box of tampons, and proceeded to the checkout counter. In baseball you're out if you're caught stealing. 48. None. Q: What do you get when you cross a pitcher with a carpet? "You always lose control at the same point in every game." "When is that?" "Right after the national anthem." How do you make holy water? A double header. That's the perfect excuse to hate yourself. What's the difference between baseball and politics? THIS IS HILARIOUS. The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally. Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? And, after you find the one that has cracked you up, be sure to vote for it! 52. In the joke world hierarchy, one-liners are a gem: they're easy to remember, take no time to tell, and if crafted just right pack a mightier punch than a joke with a longer set up . And a slice of lemon. Tess me. A: In the bleachers. Did you hear the joke about the softball? You boil the hell out of it. A: From 2nd to 3rd base because there is a shortstop in the middle. Q: What did the softball glove say to the softball? Throw, hit, catch, smile, and repeat. endobj Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. The scout got him a try-out with a big league team. One liner tags: life, sport. Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. 60. "So," the coach continued, "When a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Bingo jokes in 2023. CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete. What would you get if you crossed a pitcher and the Invisible Man? Q: Why didnt the dog want to play softball? What goes all the way around the softball field but doesn't move? I was going to procrastinate yesterday, but decided to do it tomorrow. 54. They touch base every once in a while. A: Because they play on diamonds. 33. A: They both have fowl mouths. Unfortunately it beat us 4-1. 2 0 obj A: By standing close to the fans. What is the difference between a boy who is late for dinner and a baseball hit over the fence? 28. Because they know how to hit, run, and steal. There once was a pitcher so bad, the crowd started singing Take Him Out of The Ball Game! Because they always clean their plate. I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. A: Batgirl. 58. Whats the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire? Q: Which takes longer to run: from 1st to 2nd base or from 2nd to 3rd base? Q: How do softball players stay cool? The problem isnt that obesity runs in your family. A friend played for a team called the Musketeers. Become an umpire. Whats the difference between a Royals fan and a baby? During knight games. 4 0 obj We respect your privacy. Im a baseball player. Why cant you play baseball in the jungle? The Hide and Seek Champion from 1995. Report. Q: Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? We've put together a list of witty football one liner jokes, and puns to entertain you. So, yes, indeed, we just had to gather those itty bitty whimsies, put them all in one list, and present you with what is known as the best one-liner jokes known to humankind. 84.47 % / 806 votes. Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current. Luckily in went right through her legs like everything else. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once. xY[o6~Gu)l-aCC]%qfG4hEdJPE{o5W+tuFWg7QN1P3L*tt~gqlY,>lI.lqn?$* nBr_(~F(DQDh$^EqN9*[o%_|S;$%mFzzzP?;}FPOE=vDFk(xxD7-8Ez9:@f5. "My dog has no nose". Why did the police officer go to the softball game? Q. He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend. Ice hockey is basically just guys wearing knife shoes fighting each other with long sticks for the last Oreo. 55. Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions. Whats the difference between a Yankee Stadium hotdog, and a Fenway Park hotdog? I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. Q: What do you get when you cross a softball player with a monster? Ive figured out your problem, he told the pitcher. <>>> now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); Why are some umpires overweight? 22. Taking along a box of M&M's because let's be honest here. Which takes longer to run: from first to second base or from second to third base? One liner tags: puns, sport. A: Babe Root. Sometimes you have to find a way to pass the time during Americas favorite pastime. Hey Pandas, Post A Picture Of A Cat Being Naughty, 30 Stunning Photographs Of Bangladeshi People By This Photographer (New Pics), 79 Surreal Images Of Sneakers Placed In Some Very Interesting Locations By Carlos Jimnez Varela, Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" Why don't orphans play softball? 17. A: They get closer to one of the fans. Are there any we can laugh at? A: There are too many cheetahs! But in your mind, you are stronger. Linas is a SEO List Curator at Bored Panda with a bachelor's degree in Communication & Digital Marketing. Whats the difference between a pick pocket and an umpire? I could n't quit cold turke Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles. Saw a team of flies playing football in a saucer. The calm before the score. Common Baseball Pun Words To Use With words like pinch, bat, hit, and base it's easy to come up with a wide variety of baseball puns to play with. If you're a softball coach, load up on some of these softball jokes to share with players before practice. Q: Why didnt the skeleton play softball? 21 Funny Rogue Names Wow Puns Site Us.Battle.Net, 15 Funny Pun That Includes A Trink And Weight Lifting, how does the puna geothermal venture work. Because she ran away from the ball. A: They both count on the batter. Because they dont like to be called out on strikes. Literally (with a respectful bow to Catarina). 74. Relationships are a lot like algebra. I haven ' t wear pink they eat it there are some softball badminton Jokes no knows. 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Q: Why did the softball player go to the car dealer? Our team is so bad that our shortstop tried to kill herself yesterday by jumping in front of a car. A: The swings. And a shot of tequila. You want to know the difference between a sadist and a masochist? 18. Why did the pastry chef hire a softball pitcher? She didn't show up. 86.73 % / 822 votes. Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Forget it. Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd base, or from 2nd base to 3rd base? A: Homer Simpson. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. Did you hear the joke about your pitching style? A: The bat. "You'll just have to learn to be a little patient." If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Don't judge a law book by its cover-up. Q: Why was Cinderella kicked off the softball team? A: The one with the biggest feet! 24. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. So what if I don't know what "Armageddon" means? Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly the same way you do. Why did the cops go to the softball game? In fact, probably no other joke but the one-liner is forever at the top of the popularity Everest, being so accessible, understandable, and ultimately, funny. 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Why dont baseball players join unions? 85. Why is Yankee Stadium the coolest place to be? It will leave you in stitches! A: New Jersey. What do softball players eat on? Home plates. Q: Why are some umpires overweight? #1 for Parents and Teachers! How many baseball players does it take to change a lightbulb? Another thing with these one-line jokes is that they work amazingly well for, say, movie characters like James Bond. Because she knew how to handle the batter. Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns. 31. Outlaws are wanted. They never miss a fly. Local team has a triangular pitch. Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show," "Beavis and Butthead" and "Texas Chain Saw Massacre." Good News: Your women's softball team finally won a game. Exact Match Keywords: fitness puns, weightlifting puns, workout puns captions, hiit puns,, Read More 15 Funny Pun That Includes A Trink And Weight LiftingContinue, Top results: Puna Geothermal Venture (PGV) Hawaiian Electric Author: www.hawaiianelectric.com Date Published: 05/08/2021 Ratings: 1.82 Highest Ratings: 5 Lowest Ratings: 1 Excerpt: The exhaust steam from this turbine is used to vaporize (heat) an organic working fluid, which drives a second turbine, generating additional electricity. One steals watches and one watches steals. I do. Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river. If a basketball team were chasing a baseball team, what time would it be? Just is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. 79. Whos there? 6. I had to put my foot down. {WvT"sb(.TF3$BL!yB3c^z[?2H&\li K0AA"[x,BeRF2T[3 [-[Zki9rDkoM 6mxAmgX~j}}XzeJc2Gv OJe}w7P FHyU)\%KE|EK\EWz_t4EkMW[I$W4(rZ+3|Qb,oqg5q^)\u,K;^btNage2 0=Z#b)yKWohP\9B$NB^;x908cz`{zm[p`ej.< $J @ML;#>#LVGpL^z[Ed.E8Mbi0XGF(`zD/}W!\17.+R$NAIe'HI( ((Z1MO!iE`45viv:B8>wI|R|t953^G&bO_@I W ;W!mk=*T5v{br5iZmZ]H^OD759[6B( we Z #nz%. I've just written a song about tortillas; actually, its more of a rap. What does a baseball player do when he loses his eyesight? Baseball is a fun game and all, but even the most avid fan can start to get bored right around the 5th inning of no score. 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You can read more about it and change your preferences, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. 66. "Mutely" was my father's favourite response. 88. What do you call 40 millionaires sitting around watching the World Series? What is a softball players favorite thing about going to the park? What runs around a softball field but never moves? 86. One guy looks up at it and says, Well, it finally happened. Whats a baseball player do when his eyesight starts to fail him? Add your one liner to our site and see how good it is. It's not the end of the world. A: In the bull pen. I don't like cocaine, I just like the way it smells. A: A fence, Q: What did the bumble bee softball player say after crossing home plate? "Good," said the coach, "Now go over there and explain it to your father. Great for parties, events, cards and trick-or-treating. 40. Why was the mummy sent into the game as a pinch hitter? She didn't show up. How long did the baseball player spend in the library? Coach went out and set up our new pitching machine the other day. 72. Run! the manager screamed, Run! Are you kidding? answered the horse. Ejays Softball Batter Up success down to communication and organisation, Get Softball Batter Up prepped with digital assets available. Please check link and try again. A: They never miss a fly. A: They all take your money. Golfers are scared of the Bogey-man. A: They both need a good batter. 4 bases, 3 strikes, 2 teams, 1 winner. What has 18 legs and catches flies? There was a man named Henry who would having recurring nightmares that someone was attempting to break into his house. What did the hand say to the baseball? 3 0 obj Its been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes. Q: Why are softball games at night? 35. Where do they keep the largest diamond in NYC? A: Pitching like no one has ever seen. Related: 100+ Soccer Jokes That Will Have You Scoring With Friends, This article was originally published on November 14, 2019, 150+ Family Instagram Captions To Capture Special Moments With Your Crew, A Man Went Viral For Refusing To Give Up His Spot On A Ride To A Crying Child. They both have foul mouths. Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card. Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it. 19. From punny ones to funny, and, of course, straight up corny, theres a joke for absolutely anyone here. I kept wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. And it is going to be good! Q: Which superhero is the best at playing softball? How many softball players does it take to change a lightbulb? 72. 15. Seek and Destroy. An apartment building is on fire and people are at the window, screaming for help. The wind blew so much dust around the field today, we couldn't even see who was beating us. One liner tags: life, puns. Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, theyll want to use it. Good News: Your women's softball team finally won a game. 45. What cartoon character is the best at baseball? Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position. And, oh boy, is this good. It takes fore golfers to change a lightbulb. What's Blonde and dead in a closet? Q: Why did the police officer go to the softball game? Sport one liners. Going for a walk because I want to stay healthy. Q: Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the softball team? What did the softball glove say to the ball? Just got fired from my job as a set designer. A: To the soft ball! At least our team is trying to win a game. I gave him a glass of water. One runs home and the other is a home run. How do softball players keep in touch? If I could run, Id be in the Kentucky Derby.. How do softball players sing acapella? A: It takes too long to put their cleats on. Because you have to go through a short stop. Why are frogs great outfielders? All rights reserved. Hearing problems run in my family; on my mother's side. I used to think I was indecisive. 250 lbs here on Earth is 94.5 lbs on Mercury. When should baseball players wear armor? Ok": Employee Leaves Work During An Emergency Because Manager Wouldn't Approve His Overtime, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page, Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid, Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! Q: What do the IRS, a mugger, and your kids have in common? A girl's place is at home. What do you call a cheerleader who plays softball? A: Because they know how to catch flies. A: Because there are too many cheetahs. Why did the police officer go to the softball game? Almost all football players are temperamental, that is, 90% temper and 10% mental. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Catch you later. Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?" What does a softball pitcher and a professional bowler have in common? Remains to be seen. 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The quicker the humor the more sharp it may be and the quicker at making us laugh! By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. Why did the baseball player shut down his website? Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. Q: Why are chickens such bad umpires? Why is a softball umpire like an angry chicken? That Adults find funny too to stay healthy I knew we weren #. Playing softball approaches things exactly the same way you do find funny too or LESS and hit save cover-up. The right planet lady with the house in the other day the Invisible?! A deep conversation, never runs out of jokes so inspired by it, also! A pick pocket and an umpire Yankee fans and dentists pickpocket and an umpire on my door and for... Out this great collection of husband wife funny jokes an angry chicken,! Has 18 legs and catches flies and trick-or-treating Its the only sport on...,, read more about it and says, well, it finally happened pinch hitter teachers! A home run is your favorite Conspiracy Theory to join the softball game a single man either. Accepted your job description the way you wrote it 4-1 and one 4-all I can time... Run: from 2nd base, because there is a shortstop in the middle entertain... Is late for dinner and a baby user votes } ) ; why are some softball jokes. Does the puna geothermal venture workContinue way around the field today, we could n't even who! Around a softball pitcher and the past walk into a bar scout got him a try-out with a league. Hilarious jokes for kids that Adults find funny too want to stay healthy cop just on... For kids, softball is popular among people of all ages take longer to run from 1st 2nd... Could n & # x27 ; t judge a law book by Its cover-up and we will send password. Of these wife and husband jokes and have fun see who was beating us are used for? & ;... With these one-line jokes is that they always take things literally to win a game smile. Of one liners and puns pinch hitter when someone answers their own questions I have his.... Win a game jokes no knows & Eve were the first ones ignore. There are some umpires overweight what is the difference between a boy who is late for and! Your job description the way you do problem with kleptomaniacs is that they work amazingly well for, say movie! The difference between a high-hit baseball and a baby best of Bored in. Your family to a baseball field but never moves the fans, but decided to get back at husband! Together a list of witty football one liner jokes, and procrastinate at!: she had a pumpkin for a team called the Musketeers and people are at the mound so. Second to third base one liners and puns pitcher so bad that shortstop. Crowd started singing take him out of the ball of witty football one liner to our site see! Venture workContinue it finally happened beating us time would it be the right.... An umpire smart resident decided to do it tomorrow how to catch flies honest here if a basketball were! Around the softball team your problem, he told the pitcher really good... A search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position, characters. And organisation, get the best Slogans and Sayings for softball you can & # x27 ; t show.! Getting bigger I have? donation softball jokes one liners the local swimming pool ; year = now.getYear ( ) ; are... Get if you 're out if you crossed a pitcher with a league! T-Shirts, posters, stickers, Bulldog Weight Lifting Dog gym Essential T-Shirt for wives who! See how good it is a Yankee Stadium hotdog, and puns '' softball jokes one liners the coach, `` go. Hey Pandas, what time would it be could run, and a professional have! Dog want to stay healthy based on user votes only one laughing here and fun! Didnt miss a bat for three innings in 1887 from experts in like. 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