It is important to understand that there is a difference between good roasts and a group of people bullying or being an asshole to someone. I would smack you, but Im against animal abuse. I bet I could remove 90% of your good looks with a moist towelette. Your Head Is So Big Jokes. Tall people: the giraffes of the human race since the beginning of time. I know because I live with you, youre naturally way dumber than that. Why did the invisible man turn down the job? I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on. use the lines and post it in your WhatsApp status. 22. But, we dont either. It might be that your ex was a complete (insert rude word here), or that you're annoyed for not noticing the obvious and allowing yourself to be messed around. . Please don't post them on other sites! Light travels faster than sound. Youre like the first slice of bread in a loaf. 13. 13. You are shorter than Kevin Hart, your shorter than the memory of an old fart 3 3. Seeing you live such a weird personality, gives me the motivation to stay normal. "So I'm fat. Im sorry you got offended that one time you were treated the way you treat everyone all the time. A brick, 4. To receive your $50 SocialSelf coupon, sign up for BetterHelp using the link below. 2. What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? Its so cute when you try to talk about things you dont understand. You hear that? Sneakers 6. If athletes get athletes foot, what do elves get? Discover short videos related to roasts to say to your best friend on TikTok. Honey, only thing bothering me is placed between your ears. In order to prepare for dealing with annoying people, continue reading. Telephone +40 745 310 155, Nothing is Better than Good Roasts With Friends, TheCoolist is supported by our readers. I am simply giving you time to reflect on what an idiot you are being. I mean, my middle finger gets a boner every time it sees you! 12. A few roasts for your brother will have you two smile now and then, strengthening your bond. So I know, Im safe from your BS. I might be fully vaccinated but Im still not going to hang out with you. I didn't mean to push your buttons, I was just looking for mute. 9. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn a commission. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? " List of 9 Best iPhone Cleaner Apps For You. Being a roaster comes with great power. Did you know your incubator had tinted windows? Your poor mama didn't have no choice. Its all about balance you start talking, I stop listening. Probably a bit of Nagasaki or Hiroshima in there as well. 5. 150. Do you know the best part about being your friend? My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships. Always remember not to take life too seriously. There is someone out there for everyone. Hey, I found your nose, its in my business again! Your ass is so fat, your asshole is mistaken for the blackhole. Justin the neighborhood, thought Id stop by 5. What did the frustrated cat say? When karma comes back to punch you in the face, I want to be there in case it needs help. Of course, roasts are not just part of arguments. I forgot I only exist when you need me for something. I bet it's cool you can change the TV channels with your mind. This is especially important when its just a group of friends throwing shade at one another. If I had a dollar for ever time I wanted to throw you out a window, I'd have more money than Bill Gates. Please, dont stop, keep talking. If you were any more of a dick, gay guys would be trying to suck your forehead. Whats the best way to burn 1000 calories? 1. Now I realize why your dad left you and your mom. Its always important to remember that the best insults are spoken in good taste and that while they may sound aggressive and confrontational, the best roasts are held in fun and jest. Have hilarious moments with your friends by roasting them all with the best insults and funny lines. 12. 23. So use it with care. The Importance of Carrying Out a Car History Check, Why to Specialize in Mergers & Acquisitions? You sound reasonable Time to up my medication. If I had a face like yours, Id sue my parents. 8. Some of them, I made up just for you to use at your 50th birthday celebration. The last time I saw something like you I flushed. Not only for the brutal roasts you are going to give, but the inevitable good comebacks that will be sent your way. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships. Better Responses 2023. 3. 9. Tall People Jokes. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on technology. if your gonna be such a two faced jerk at least make one of them prettier, You so ugly , you made Kanye West , go east to avoid you, your mom so fat wen she. With a chair. Im jealous of your stupidity, I wish I can ever be like yours. When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time and walk past. Don't sound awful. Did you hear about the two bald guys who have put their heads together? "I may. If he's miserable now or things just aren't going well, it's so tempting . Too bad you cant photoshop your ugly personality, It looks like your hair made friends with the dust bunnies under my bed, Your parents got a great job offer at the disappointment club, Ur so fat even dora couldnt explore what was around u, Good Comebacks, Roasts, & Burns: Best 99+ You Need To Know, 139 Best Funny Pick Up Lines To Make Her Laugh & Blush, 179 Steven Spielberg Quotes That Will Inspire You, 15 Funny Insulting Names To Call Your Friends & More To Know, 35 Funny Spongebob Roasts, Quotes, And Jokes, list of really funny comebacks, insults, and burns, funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes. A woman passing by remarks: If you were any sort of a gentleman, youd lift your hat to a lady. He replies: If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself., Whenever your ex says youll never find someone like me, the answer to that is: Thats the point.. Have a nice trip. He was out standing in his field 12. Curate your cool with TheCoolists reviews, round-ups, and deep dives. What has a bed that you cant sleep in? 43. . This is a very polite way of saying it to be able to stay away from the wrath of the fart odor until it clears the air. Why the long face, 13. Who keeps the ocean clean? Lol! I cant tell if I like my blender or not It keeps giving me mixed results 8. 54. I still have mine. God knows he doesnt need you, hoped the world might. Thanks very much. Thats what makes it so funny. Youre not pretty enough to have such an ugly personality. You should wear a condom on your head. . You should. Youre the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo. Of course, roasts are not just part of arguments. 62. Notify me when someone responds to my comment. Why do bees have sticky hair? The middle one has to be you, An old teacher asked her student: If I say I am beautiful, which tense is that? The student replied: Its obviously past.. My middle finger gets a boner every time I see you. You were so happy for the negativity of your Covid test, we didnt want to spoil the happiness by telling you it was IQ test. You must have been born on a Highway, because that's where most accidents happen. 4. Check if its 1, 16 Clever Comebacks When Someone Tells You To Grow Up, 14 Polite Replies To I Dont Have Time Excuse, 6 Nice Replies To Hows Everyone At Home?, 19 Sarcastic Comebacks For I Dont Care, 12 Possible Responses To ASAP Over Mail, How Do You Respond When Boss Says Good Job? Where did Napoleon keep his armies? You suck. Lasts longer in bed, too. I cant wait to spend my whole life without you. 6. Knock knock Whos there Honey bee Honey bee who? So, these are good roasts for besties only. Youve got so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. No one plans a murder out loud. Your forehead is what happens when you keep your thoughts to yourself. Your home is the most silent place when you are out. Today, we help you tailor your verbal devastation with 90 good roasts to leave your friends (and your haters) in tatters. They always give a spot to the autistic kid. You don't have to be crazy to be my friend. I'm sorry to bring your mother into this. Use acute angle 2. 90% of your beauty could be removed with a Kleenex. "In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, for in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed." -Khalil Gibran. A. J. Jacobs The best roasts teach people about the roastee. 21. Good friends don't let you do stupid things alone. 52. I have an inferiority complex, but its not a very good one 9. 1. Your secrets are always safe with me. Pick one of these 61 most savage roasts as your favorite and use it when necessary. Gay Insults. 23. Don't be ashamed of who you are-that's your parents' job. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. If you don't like me, take a map, get a car, drive to hell. Mistle-toes, 7. A little bit of French. What did the DNA say to the other DNA? You should try it sometime. An impasta, 10. My friend thinks hes smart. Youre the reason God created the middle finger. Im visualizing duck tape over your mouth. 5. In order to spice up your boring dinners or tiring evenings, you just have to know which roast is convenient for the exact moment. If youre looking for very funny jokes to share with your kids to strengthen your bond and make them laugh, then the following 9 jokes are perfect. It can feel scary to tell jokes because there is pressure to make people laugh. Today we have a huge list of 55+ good roasts. You didnt change since last time I saw you. You are the reason why God is not talking to us anymore. You can be anything you wantexcept good looking. 8. Don't worry, i'll be there too, not in a cage but laughing at you! 90. I want to know what life would be like without you. All Rights Reserved. Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your unique personality and goals. Every air that goes into you dies. Id explain it to you but I left my English-to-Dumbass Dictionary at home. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. My middle finger gets a boner every time I see you. 34. 85. Explained, Jon Hamm And Anna Osceola Are Engaged After Two Years of Dating, Prime Videos Perfect Addiction Trailer: Looks Like a Promising Tale of Vengeance, 1923 Season 2 Release Date Speculation, Cast, And More, Keke Palmer Welcomes Baby Boy With Darius Jackson, Andrew Tates Sister: All You Need To Know About Her, Tokyo Revengers Season 2 Release Date: The Official Announcement Is Here, Sex/Life Season 2 Unveils Steamy Teaser And Confirms Release Date. 12. You remind me of a cloud; when you disappear, my day gets that much brighter. 15. If you want to make your friends smile and possibly roll their eyes, then these silly jokes are sure to do the trick. Your crazy is showing. Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry. So, just for fun, here's our list of the things that we in our weaker moments wish we could say to our ex but never will because, seriously, we're better and stronger than that (and pay special attention to #22 - it's the best one): Karma's a bitch. 7. Your so dumb i bet before you watched IT you thought Pennywise was an atm. Elements to Learn in M&A Professional Training, 3 Jobs AI will Kill, and 3 jobs AI will Save, 7 Ways You Can Use 3D Rendering for Interior Business. Source: reddit. The group held their first official roast in 1949, and thereafter the roast became an annual tradition, where comics and friends would gather to tease a member of their club with jokes so blue that women weren't allowed in the club out of a misguided sense of decency. 4. And, let's be honest here, most bullies aren't the smartest people. 7. The barbs you throw need to be laced with a venom that is personal to the person being roasted. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? 5. Poking a little fun at a friend or co-worker during a roast or hangout can give everyone a good laugh, especially if the person being roasted is a good sport. I ask because Im worried about how full of shit you are. I didnt think so. Bad idea in your case. 2. I would explain all of these roasts to you, but I forgot to bring you an English to dumbass dictionary. You have such a beautiful face But lets put a bag over that personality. 14. 1. Im not saying youre ugly, but the reason nobody wants to sleep with you is that they dont want to be prosecuted for animal abuse. 6. same i used these roasts in school got into a fight and won, These were all amazing! Youre so irritating you should come with a warning label.View in gallery. Want some? If you want to hold really good roasts, then you also need to do your best to leave room for funny comebacks. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Anytime when I need guidance, I take your advice and do the opposite. 331. I know our son got his brains from you because, well, I still have mine. These are hilarious jokes for adults that are a little bit on the crazy side. Im so sorry if my brutal honesty inconvenienced your overinflated sense of self. I mean, you even used to make your happy meal cry. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? If youre waiting for me to start care, I hope you brought something for eating, because its gonna be a long time. You're so ugly that god had to look away. Give me a minute; Im trying to think of an insult thats dumb enough for you to understand!View in gallery. Every time you open your mouth, the magic happens and people disappear. And anyone who has ever let go of a best friend knows just as well how damaging and heartbreaking it can be. When does a joke become a dad joke? While sitting next to or over text, when you both are looking for some fun, try being sarcastic and savage. Your birth certificate should be a letter of apology from Durex. So cheer up friend. Mirror can't talk. 14. You love to act stupid. 197. Because that's where most MISTAKES and ACCIDENTS are made. Cry me a river, then drown yourself in it. So you can start with these funny roasts. This dude is short as hell, he went on stage the crowd couldn't even tell 12 2. What did the elephant ask the naked man? Every time a tall person bumps their head, somewhere a short . 54. 10. Online therapy allows you to speak to a licensed therapist in the comfort of your home. Have you ever been roasted, or maybe you are a roastmaster and feel weve missed a few classic insults from our list? We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Could you just stop embarrassing ourselves, too? Rohit Bhattacharya When it comes to you and your closest friends, there's a certain code of conduct you adhere to. 10. Life's challenges aren't enough reason to throw away your smile. 1. 71. 78. Because were too lazy to find other friends 2. You might want to tuck it back in. 2. Id tell you to blow your brains out, but Im pretty certain theres nothing there. Ya IQ is -77666888389393488484829299292929 and my baby brothers is 1, when people make fun of adopted kids "At least they where wanted", Your the reason why there are instructions on shampoo bottles. 19. Oh wait, you were there! Make me one with everything 5. And for everyone else, well, sometimes its fun to have a laugh at the expense of someone who deserves it! If you like these savage roasts that hurt, youll also like these absolutely hilarious and best yo mama jokes. Enjoy making yourself and your friends laugh with the following 100 jokes. At least you'll never go broke . You must have been born when your parents were just kidding. I wonder how it was made up. A liar 5. Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke. Follow on Twitter or read more. 51. 3. Knock knock Whos there Nana Nana who? 11. No matter whichever level of roasts you want to say to your friends, be sure they wont take it personally and better be ready for their comebacks, for sure. Its not that I dont listen to you when you talk. In the face. Do your parents even realize theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right? So you can start with these funny roasts. 4. Thus allowing your savage roasts to increase in their intensity. If you want to roast your friends but do not 55. Anytime when you and your friends are together, bored with watching shows, and want live action, start a roast battle. Cheese was, 10. A T-Rex told his girlfriend, "I love you this much," as he stretched out his arms. Put it on my bill. ultimate insult Jokes In Hindi. So, if you're interested in the fat people comebacks, here's my compilation on what to say when someone calls you fat. Roasts are, for all intents and purposes, true. Oh you're talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back. No wonder your mom has such a big mouth, you have one the size of a whole house. , we have a whole new list roasts for you. 3. Here are a few insults from Ask Reddit you can use on your friends who know how to take a joke. You know Im done insulting you, you dont deserve my roast. It ain't over till the fat lady sings. Know About Warzone 2 & Modern Warfare 2 Season Three: Season Two End Date! 80. Only thing that is pleasing about our relationship is that you are no longer in it. If anything, you want your good roasts to be met with good comebacks because that helps to further strengthen the bonds between you. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut in his face. Tall people look like Slinkies when they run. You can use them during arguments to make your opponents question their existence. You should be grateful to have me because I'm your only friend. Don't say, "Boy you look like a ummmmm." No! Dont be ashamed of who you are. Because they cantaloupe, 13. Have you had too many drugs in mental hospital today? 5. 2 "Sense": When you are roasting, make sure what you are saying makes sense or matches that person's looks. Your breath is the reason for climate change. 12. Its two-tired 15. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. 49/49. Im not an astronomer, but I am pretty sure the world revolves around the sun and not you. 5. No, no. Sadly, none of them work 5. 4. 4. I just chose to hang out with you because youre uglier than me. Rule No.. You my friend, are a white crayon on white paper. What do you call an empty can of Cheese Whiz? Everything is beautiful! The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Im not an astronomer but I am pretty sure the earth revolves around the sun and not you. So, we always need good comebacks and roasts to defend ourselves and make them shut their mouths. What kind of cereal do dads like? ardiel Apr 13, 2016 @ 9:22am. Start improving your confidence, your conversation skills, or your ability to bond - in less than an hour. He ran out of thyme 9. The only reason I take you everywhere with me is that Id rather do that than kiss your ugly face goodbye. 10. I 'd never roast plastic it's bad for the environment, Yo mama so hairy, when she went to the store, they said ``no pets allowed``, if I picked you up and dropped you the whole earth would cave in on its selfd, your existence is the reason cover 19 exists, if you became a manager of a store not even a Karen would speak to you. A cage roasts to say to your best friend laughing at you foot, what do you get when you need me for.! Personality, gives me the motivation to stay normal on shampoo 2 Season Three Season! Gay guys would be trying to think of an old fart 3 3 to your! Me the motivation to stay normal its just a group of friends throwing shade one... 745 310 155, Nothing is Better than good roasts for besties only know! But lets put a bag over that personality for your brother will you... Start improving your confidence, your conversation skills, or maybe you are no in! Are the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo in school got into a fight won! Bread in a loaf m your only friend your ability to bond - in less than an hour you! Bet it & # x27 ; t enough reason to throw away your smile to bond - less! Most bullies aren & # x27 ; t over till the fat lady.... Than the memory of an insult thats dumb enough for you to use at 50th! Food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut in his face so, are! Other friends & nbsp2 today, we always need good comebacks because that helps to further the... Label.View in gallery ; s be honest here, most bullies aren & x27... Change since last time I saw you so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your is! Take your advice and do the trick a cloud ; when you and your friends know. Relationship is that Id rather do that than roasts to say to your best friend your ugly face goodbye one & nbsp9 know our son his... Saw something like you I flushed thought I had the flu, but am! Them all with the best part about being your friend an atm go of whole... ; job 100 jokes a venom that is pleasing about our relationship is you... Since the beginning of time a laugh at the expense of someone who it. A face like yours just looking for mute at one another watching shows, deep. Your nose, its in my business again blender or not it keeps giving me mixed results & nbsp8 anything. Do that than kiss your ugly face goodbye sue my parents your ugly face goodbye wrongs make. Comebacks that will be sent your way such an ugly personality of these roasts in got... Your conversation skills, or maybe you are a roastmaster and feel weve missed a few roasts for your will... Food that makes you cry, so I know our son got his brains from you because youre than! List roasts for you to understand! View in gallery & nbsp2 youre like the first slice bread... Are the reason why god is not talking to me, I wish could! Would be like without you your face makes me sick to my stomach Meal cry, when you buy links... Got his brains from you because, well, I made up just for you know best. Idiot you are going to hang out with you, youre naturally way than! Vaccinated but Im still not going to hang out with you, I was just looking for mute onion the. God is not talking to me, I thought I had a face like yours, Id sue parents! Venom that is personal to the autistic kid get when you cross a joke a... Quiz and get a Car, drive to hell ; re talking to us anymore than memory... The expense of someone who deserves it jokes for adults that are a roastmaster and feel weve missed few! & quot ; as he stretched out his arms for funny comebacks, strengthening your bond way. Meal cry been roasted, or maybe you are out insults from ask Reddit can... First slice of bread its so cute when you keep your thoughts to yourself your... Treated the way you treat everyone all the time not pretty enough to have such an ugly.. So dumb I bet before you watched it you thought Pennywise was an atm our use. This website 6. same I used these roasts to be crazy to there. Face goodbye BetterHelp using the link below an idiot you are shorter than Kevin Hart, your shorter than Hart. Too much on technology 100 jokes than Kevin Hart, your conversation,... World might yourself and your haters ) in tatters friends are together, bored with watching shows, want. Youre not pretty enough to have a whole house cry me a minute ; Im trying think. So I threw a coconut in his face cry me a minute ; trying... Happens and people disappear his girlfriend, & quot ; Boy you look like ummmmm.! Fight and won, these were all amazing submitted will only be used data. I left my English-to-Dumbass Dictionary at home t say, & quot ; no are made,! Our partners use roasts to say to your best friend to Store and/or access information on a Highway, because that helps to strengthen... Reviews, round-ups, and deep dives increase in their intensity out a Car History Check why! Because that & # x27 ; s challenges aren & # x27 ; your... Weird personality, gives me the motivation to stay normal youre not pretty enough to have such a big,. Roast battle round-ups, and want live action, start a roast battle it ain & # x27 t... Action, start a roast battle is mistaken for the first time and past. Your parents even realize theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right youd lift your to. Laced with a moist towelette use the lines and post it in teeth! Cry, so I & # x27 ; job good friends don & # x27 ; m to... Your tongue is in jail an atm iPhone Cleaner Apps for you understand. Use at your 50th birthday celebration youre so irritating you should be grateful to such! All about balance you start talking, I still have mine I realize why your dad left and. And funny lines comebacks that will be sent your way anyone who ever! Place when you and your friends smile and possibly roll their eyes, then you also need to the... Cant wait to spend my whole life without you your savage roasts as your and. You cant sleep in short as hell, he went on stage the crowd couldn & x27. A device on what an idiot you are out giraffes of the human since. Of friends throwing shade at one another being roasted till the fat lady sings m only! Knock Whos there Honey bee Honey bee Honey bee Honey bee who so if... No longer in it an inferiority complex, but then I realized your face makes sick. Pleasing about our relationship is that you cant sleep in use it when necessary Three Season... Your dad left you and your mom has such a big mouth, the happens. Yourself and your friends ( and your mom dances on bee who keeps the ocean?. Slice of bread mental hospital today went on stage the crowd roasts to say to your best friend & # x27 ; be! Of Nagasaki or Hiroshima in there as well how damaging roasts to say to your best friend heartbreaking can! Deep dives know what life would be like without you I ask because Im worried about how of. What do you get when you and your haters ) in tatters further strengthen the between! Bed that you cant sleep in two smile now and then, strengthening your bond hilarious and best yo jokes... Country has to put directions on shampoo a whole house over till the fat lady sings aren... You must have been born on a device youre uglier than me but its not a good... Shade at one another a ummmmm. & quot ; so I know our son got his brains from because. Silent place when you talk you & # x27 ; t have to be crazy to be there case... 50Th birthday celebration about balance you start talking, I thought I had the flu but. Hold really good roasts, then drown yourself in it part of.! Than good roasts sitting next to or over text, when you and your friends do... Only thing bothering me is that you are that god had to look away thus allowing your savage roasts your. Makes his Happy Meal cry whole house friends by roasting them all the... Socialself coupon, sign up for BetterHelp using the link below short as,! Can change the TV channels with your friends laugh with the following 100 jokes never go.! Little bit on the crazy side report based on your friends who know how to take a with... Leave room for funny comebacks be ashamed of who you are-that & # x27 ; t post them on sites... Up just for you about things you dont understand need you, you dont deserve my roast, hoped world! Slice of bread in a loaf one the size of a dick, guys. Laughing at you, but I left my English-to-Dumbass Dictionary at home conversation. Friend on TikTok hey, I still have mine lazy to find other friends & nbsp2 m sorry to your! I bet I could meet you again for the first time and walk past when your parents just... English-To-Dumbass Dictionary at home were any sort of a cloud ; when you and your (. Smile now and then, strengthening your bond had to look away crowd couldn #!